vacation time

I left for vacation yesterday for 10 days to clear my head and get away
from Mukinge. As such a small place, it's good to take a break every
now and then; the life gets a bit claustrophobic at times. We had an
extended weekend last weekend; I asked one of the Zambian nurses what
she did for the weekend and she somewhat grumpily replied 'there's
nothing to do here'. Certainly there's more opportunities for
entertainment for me with DVD's and the computer age and the advent of
the internet these days. But it's still good to take a break from
personalities and the grind of work and the depressing nature of the
patients that you can't do much for and don't get better.
At the same time, vacation feels a little bit guilty, just because you
spend a fair amount on yourself. This is magnified by the opportunity
to come to Lusaka where there are well-stocked stores; I've been
accumulating a list of things to get for the past 6 months, so you end
up doing 6 months worth of shopping in one day, which makes me feel
frivolous and like I'm spending too much on myself. It's a lot easier
to buy things here and there; the psychological impact of all that money
that you spend on yourself is lessened and you don't feel nearly as
guilty about it all. And all the stuff is not essentials -- you can buy
flour and cabbage and corn at home -- but the little extras that make
things nice; a mixing bowl so that I don't have to use my stewpot, or
some olive oil, or toys for the cat so he doesn't shred my ironing
board. My biggest guilty pleasure will be a mattress if I can figure
out how to arrange it. It's a tough balance between being comfortable
and being a good steward of your money, especially when there are needs
for people to go to school, or to buy blankets for their kids when it's
cold, or requests for loans to put a door on their house.